Being Human
by slashblack89
Summary: Tired of his normal life, Thomas the tank engine wishes to be human. he gets his wish and soon finds out that Being human isn't all that its cracked up to be. contains profanity. don't like cursing then please don't read


For the record: I do not own Thomas and Friends. Britt allcroft does. This is just a story I made up using the characters. There is no sex in this story but it does have a lot of cussing in it. If you don't like cussing and drama then please do not red any further... don't get me wrong, I don't hate Thomas and friends. Thomas and friends are awesome. This is strictly a fan fiction story and should not be taken seriously. Other then that enjoy

**Being Human**

Anyone who watches Thomas and friends can clearly recognize him. He's a blue cheeky engine with six wheels, red bumpers and a big #1 on his frame. He works hard and tirelessly with other engines on the other engines on the island of sodar.

One day Thomas was pissed. He was waiting at tidmouth sheds with James. James was crossed as well. He looked over at Thomas.

"What's your problem" snorted James

"Sir Topham hat pisses me off" Thomas snapped "I pulled an express train this morning and now he want me to help Gordon push the express"

"What wrong with that?" James asked

"I'm tired of working" Thomas said "we never get to have fun."

"You silly damn engine" James snapped "engines don't have fun."

"Shows how much you know asshole" Thomas retorted with a grin on his face "watch this"

Thomas started himself. He began moving with no driver inside of him. Thomas puffed out of tidmouth station. He kept going. Soon he was at the docks. There was a dead end at the docks. Thomas was heading for it. He didn't have a driver so he couldn't stop.

"shit shit shit" Thomas said wide eyed.

He drove directly into the docks.

"Damn it" Thomas said as he sunk lower and lower.

Sir Topham Hat arrived. He was crossed.

"If you can't behave Thomas then you are to be locked tidmouth sheds until you learn how to be a good engine." Sir Topham said.

Thomas was fished out using a crane. He was parked into tidmouth sheds. One of his drivers came to talk to him that night.

"What made you want to do something like that?" driver asked "driving into the docks? That was hella stupid of you Thomas."

"I wanted to do something fun" Thomas said "working all the time is boring."

"But you have to work" Driver said "you must be a useful engine"

"Easy for you to say" Thomas retorted "you're a driver. All you do is drive along for the ride. You don't pull express trains or shunt freight cars like us engines do. If I was human I'd be having fun all the time."

"You know being human isn't all what it's cracked up to be" Driver said

"Bullshit!" Thomas snapped "if I was human I'd bet it be really cool. I wish I was human"

"Be careful what you wish for" Driver said as he lowered the light on his lantern. "I'll come talk to you tomorrow buddy"

"Ok" Thomas said "goodnight"

The Driver left. Thomas closed his eyes.

"I wish I was human" Thomas said "that would be splendid. Then I'd show driver what fun it would be"

Thomas soon fell asleep. As he slept a bright light came from the sky and into the shed. It flew past all the other engines and glowed around Thomas. The light changed Thomas. Thomas then began to change form in his sleep. He got smaller. His 6 wheels were replaced with legs and arms. His body was then formed into a man….. The light continued to change Thomas throughout the night….

The next morning Thomas woke up. He stretched and scratched his head.

"Huh…. What the fuck" Thomas grumbled. He was shocked to see his arms

He looked at his hands and arms. Thomas then looked at a puddle on the ground. He saw his reflection. He had seen that he now had skin. His round face and triangle shaped eyebrows were there too. He had jet black hair and wore a blue shirt with red lines that still had his #1 on it. He had dark blue jeans and blue loafers.

"I can't believe this shit" Thomas said happily "it actually happened….I'm…human"

Thomas was soon startled by his driver who approached him. His driver didn't recognize him.

"Who are you?" Driver asked "What did you do with Thomas?"

"Driver it's me." Thomas responded.

"This is preposterous" Driver said "I'm calling the police"

"But it really is me" Thomas said.

Driver took another look at the man before him. He really wasn't sure but he still studied him. He seen the blue shirt with red lined and a yellow number in the middle. He noticed the round face and triangle eye brows. He then began to ease up.

"Thomas is that really you?" Driver asked

"Of course." Thomas said "After you left last night something happened to me. I wished to be a human and I became one"

Driver smiled.

"So you got what you wanted huh?" he asked "you are now a human. What will you do?"

Thomas was stumped. He didn't know much about being human.

"I'll tell you what Thomas" Driver explained "to live in the world one must make money and to do that you must work. How would you like to help me drive an engine?"

Thomas was happy

"I'd be honored sir" he said. He did his famous eye roll.

The Driver took Thomas to Sir Topham hat and explained what happened.

"So Thomas thinks that being human is easier than being a Train huh?" Sir Topham Hat said "we'll soon show him"

Sir Topham Hat gave Thomas a job as a Driver assistant. It was his job to aid the driver. Thomas and Driver left Sir Topham hat's office. They walked to a nearby train station Where James was waiting. He was coupled to some milk cars

"We have a new Driver James" Driver said as he boarded James. James looked at Thomas but didn't really recognize him until Thomas spoke up.

"You don't recognize me do you?" Thomas said. He smiled at James. James finally caught on. He gasped.

"Thomas?" James said "but how did you get like that?"

"I don't know" Thomas responded "I like it. It's different but very cool"

"Come along now Thomas" Driver said "we must not be late"

Thomas got in James. James began driving. Thomas was excited. He never had been in a Train.

"What do we do now?" Thomas asked

"Nothing much" Driver answered "we have to deliver this milk to the sodar farms. James's fire is well lit and I don't need any help with driving so you can just sit and take a load off."

Thomas didn't very much like the idea of waiting. He sat down and watched the scenery as they rode on James. That's pretty much how it was that whole day. Around 7:30 pm their Thomas and Driver's shift were over. Driver decided to take Thomas to a bar to have a night cap.

"So how was your first day as a human?" Driver asked as he drunk his drink.

"It was ok" Thomas answered. He was figuring out how to drink from a cup. Driver seen it and chuckled.

"It's not hard lad" Driver said "hold the cup to your lips, slightly open your mouth and tip the cup. The liquid will go into your mouth."

Thomas did as told and drunk the beer. He then looked at the cup.

"What is it Thomas?" Driver asked.

"Nothing" Thomas replied "it's just kind of strange drinking like this."

"Well that's how humans drink things from cups" Driver said "you better get used to it."

Thomas soon felt a weird feeling in his bladder. He left liquid trying to get out. He told Driver.

"That's nothing lad" Driver said "just have to take a piss is all"

"Can you help me?" Thomas asked "I really don't know how"

Driver felt awkward. He still none the less took Thomas to the restroom. He turned away and gave instructions.

"First unzip" Driver said "then pull the old hose out. Aim at the toilet and let her go"

Thomas did as he was told. He peed into the toilet. He then zipped up and washed his hands

"That was very different" Thomas said "will I need to do that again?"

"Every now and then" Driver replied "its part of being human"

The 2 had more drinks. They then left the bar

"It's about time for me to be getting home" Driver said "Sir Topham hat has set you up with a room at his office building"

"Huh?" Thomas asked "What about Tidmouth sheds?"

"You're human now" Driver said "humans sleep in beds not sheds"

Thomas said his byes to the Driver. He then began walking to Sir Topham Hat's office building. On the way there he accidently bumped into a woman. The woman was about his age and very beautiful with blue eyes, blond hair and fair skin.

"I'm sorry" Thomas said "forgive me"

The woman smiled at him

"It's ok" She said "but you look awful familiar."

She looked at Thomas's shirt. She seen the number 1 on it and recognized who he was.

"You're Thomas aren't you?" She asked

"y-y-yeah" Thomas replied

"I'm Tabatha" She said "I thought you looked familiar. I'm a snack lady on the train. I heard you had got turned into a human but I couldn't believe it. How do you like it?"

"It's ok" Thomas said "it's very different."

"Yeah…" Tabatha said "listen, I was on my way to get a drink. Would you like to come along?"

"Yes please" Thomas said as he did his eye roll again.

Tabatha and Thomas went back to the bar and drunk cup after cup of beer until they were both drunk.

"Well looks like it's time for me to go home now" Thomas said as he tried to stagger away. Tabatha grabbed his hand.

"You don't have a house" Tabatha said drunkly "you lived in a shed your whole damn life"

"I'm supposed to be staying at Sir Topham hat's office in the spare room" Thomas slurred.

"My house is closer" Tabatha said "come stay at my house. It'll just be for the night and I know you'll love it."

"Ok" Thomas said as Tabatha pulled him to her house.

The 2 were soon at Tabatha's house. She lived in a house 2 blocks away from the bar. It was near a hill and a meadow. They entered the house. Thomas sat on the couch. Tabitha slipped into her pajamas which consisted of a Shirt and panties. She was too drunk to put anything else on. She and Thomas talked a bit more. Thomas could'nthelp but keep glancing at Tabatha's legs and panties every chance he got. Tabatha took notice.

"You like my legs don't you" Tabatha asked.

"Yeah" Thomas said "they're different from wheels"

Tabatha laughed.

"How would you like if I wrapped you in them?" Tabatha asked

"that would be wonderful" Thomas said not really understanding what Tabatha was trying to ask him" how would you do that?"

Tabatha leaned and kissed Thomas on the lips. The then turned the lights off. Thomas learned a lot that night. He defenantly found how Tabatha could wrap her legs around him.

The next morning Thomas went to work. He showed up at the station Driver was there.

"Where on earth did you go last night?" he asked "Sir Topham hat was looking for you"

"I went with Tabatha" Thomas said "she showed me how to wrap legs around people"

Driver laughed

"Sounds like you had a fun night" he said "all the more to talk about after work. Edward's driver had called in sick. We must drive Edward to help Gordon up a hill"

Thomas was kind of sad. He wanted to help Gordon. He knew that Edward was an older engine and it would be harder on him then it was on himself. Thomas and Driver got a ride to tidmouth sheds. Edward was there. He greeted Driver and Thomas.

"James told me what happened to you" Edward said "how is being a human?"

"It's alright" Thomas said

"Come along lad" Driver called inside of Edward "we mustn't be late"

Thomas scrambled into Edward and Driver drove the train. Thomas enjoyed the ride. Soon they arrived at Gordon. Gordon was at the hill waiting.

"It's about time you got here" Gordon puffed.

Driver drove Edward carefully behind Gordon and Edward began pushing and puffing. Gordon tried moving his wheels as well. Edward pushed and pushed. He pushed so hard that something in his engine burst. Steam flooded from Edward. Thomas was devastated. He didn't wanna see his friend like this. Edward couldn't move. Percy came and pulled Edward away. James and Toby arrived and proceeded to push Gordon up the hill. Thomas was still devastated that evening when him and Driver went out to drink.

"I should've been there to help" Thomas said

"Calm down lad" Driver said "they'll have Edward fixed in no time."

Thomas sighed. "I hope so" he sighed.

Driver nudged Thomas's arm.

"It seems you have quite the charm for the ladies" Driver said as he showed Thomas the Ladies that were staring at him in the bar. The ladies smiled and waved. Thomas waved back. One man walked over to Thomas and the driver.

"Quite harassing these ladies" The man said

"Fuck you asshole" Thomas said "they're smiling at me. You jealous you don't got looks like me."

The man was mad. He was getting ready to punch Thomas. Thomas kneed the man in the stomach. He then picked up a chair and broke it over the man's back. Soon a bar fight started. Driver grabbed Thomas and the 2 escaped from the bar just in time.

"That was close" Driver said "handled yourself perfectly you did lad".

"Thanks" Thomas said. He was still worried about Edward.

"I gotta get home" Driver said "you sure you gonna be ok?"

Thomas smiled

"Yeah I will" he said.

Driver walked off to his house. Thomas stood in the lonely sodar streets. He began walking. He looked at the twinkly starred and began thinking.

"If I was still a train I could've helped Edward." Thomas thought. "Being human is cool but I'd rather be a useful engine any day."

Thomas walked to tidmouth sheds. He laid down on his empty shed rails and began to remember the good times he had when he was an engine. Soon he fell fast asleep. The bright light came from the sky again. It surrounded Thomas and glowed around him. He began to change form. He grew big and his wheels came back. Thomas was going to be in for a surprise when he woke up the next day.

The next day Thomas woke up.

"I must've slept here" He said

Thomas felt different. He wasn't hungry or in need of a bathroom. He looked down and seen Driver. Driver smiled at him.

"Welcome back old boy" Driver said "look"

Driver held a mirror up to Thomas. Thomas looked in it and was happy. He saw that he was a train engine again. Thomas did his eye roll. Driver started his fire up and got in Thomas. They then took off. Driver was driving Thomas to the yard where they were repairing Edward. Along the way Thomas saw James and Percy. They would blow their whistles at him and welcome him back.

"Good to see you again" James said

"Welcome back Thomas" Percy said

Thomas would peep at them as he passed them by. At last they made it to the yard. They can see that Edward was being repaired but he didn't look sad. He was happy.

"I talked to Sir Topham hat this morning" Driver said "Edward blew his engine when he tried to push Gordon up the hill but he is getting repaired and will be back out working in no time"

Thomas smiled and blew his whistle at Edward. Edward looked and blew his whistle back at Thomas. Thomas then drove off. He felt better now that he knew his friend was ok. Along the way Thomas's driver had something to ask Thomas.

"What did you learn?" Driver asked

"Being a human is ok but I'd rather be a useful engine any day" Thomas replied.

Thomas let out a loud "peep peep" from his whistle. He and his Driver were on their way to do any jobs that needed to be done on the island of sodar.

**THE END**


End file.
